First off, dear reader, you need to know the prospect of shopping fills me with dread. Where others see a bounty of colorful clothing, shoes, and accessories coming together in their imagination to form a stylish outfit, I see a mishmash of too many choices.
“Who buys all this stuff?” is my reaction upon entering a mall. I don’t want to browse six different areas of Nordstrom’s to find the perfect pair of jeans. I want the Black-Jeans-Size 12-Department, which would be conveniently located near the Comfortable-But-Nicer-Than-A-
After about half an hour in a mall, I suffer stimulus overload and try to make it back to my car before panic sets in. Oh, yes, I can shop without fear at Lowe’s or Dollar Tree, but those stores have exits that are easy to find.
Needless to say, I don’t care if I could get a FREE Limited Edition LEGO Holiday Set or even a free iPad, you would never find me fighting the crowds on Black Friday.
Until this year. I’m fighting back and I invite you other Black Friday avoiders to do the same.
Looking through my closets and cupboards, I find things I’ve never used, some with the price tag attached. Like the lovely black velvet jacket that I bought four years ago as the perfect topper for a night out (as if). Or how about that contraption with straps and a sturdy back that allows one to sit comfortably cross-legged on the floor. Or a duplicate staple gun, or the food dehydrator. I have many things that I’ve used once or not at all and I’m sure you do too.
My plan is to pack these items into the car and drive to the store and give them back. I’m not talking about trying to get a refund. I’m talking about getting rid of the stuff. You don’t even have to go inside.
For example, you could drive to Wal-Mart and give items to striking employees who won’t have the time or money to shop.
You could place items in discarded shopping carts for those latecomers who didn’t start shopping at 8pm on Thanksgiving night.
You don’t even have to find a parking space. When you’re stuck behind the car that is waiting for the shopper who just arrived at her van with a loaded shopping cart and four kids, two of whom require car seats, you could get out of your car and give the driver in front of you an age appropriate item. Hopefully that person will be thrilled to get something for free and will just go on home allowing traffic to sludge forward again.
If getting into the parking lot still seems like too much trouble, you could just hand stuff out the window to those next to you in the stand-still traffic on the freeway. You might only have to travel one exit to achieve your goal.